Echoes of Love
by acharne
Summary: Tohru's been missing for three years, Kyo's been locked up, Haru's dead, Rin's heartbroken and just when Yuki thinks he can move on with his life, Kisa finds something from the past that can unravel all the secrets. EIGHTH CHAPTER NOW UP! Please review!
1. Loneliness and Aloneness

Disclaimer: I don't own Fruits Basket or any of the characters, though I wish I did!

/loneliness and aloneness/

A small room, an empty room. That was how Yuki remembered it. A cold room where the windows were too high up to see through. Walls painted so white it hurt to look at them. A lingering smell of unwashed human and urine. His senses had told him it was a bad place – a place not meant for him. He remembered asking if anyone lived there – if anyone would _want _to live there.

'Someone used to live there,' Akito had told him, 'and someone will live there again.'

That was the only time he'd ever seen the cat room. It was more than ten years ago now – more than half his life. Sometimes Yuki wondered how the current occupant of the cat room could stand existing in that tiny, tiny space. Sometimes he felt that he might as well be inside that room – isolated, alone from a living world.

But the spirit of the cat had chosen another Sohma – born only days after the rat-boy – a child who he'd been taught to hate like there was nothing else that mattered more. And he might still hate Kyo, if it wasn't for a brown-haired girl who'd changed their lives for an amazing two years.

Like a fool Yuki had thought that time would last forever. But luck that comes unlooked for can vanish just the same. And she disappeared on the morning of the day they graduated from high school, and now it was like she had never been there at all.

As if he'd been alone all along.

/end of part 1/

AN: It's ages since I write fanfiction, so this was just spur-of-the-moment. Sorry it's so short, there will be more coming! Please let me know what you think, all criticism is helpful!


	2. Echoes of Love

/echoes of love/

Isuzu Sohma was only twenty-two, but she'd already suffered more than her share of heart-ache. When she was only eight she'd been disowned by her parents, the pain of which left her in a tentative mental state. As she got older her health deteriorated and she had often been hospitalised. At the age of 17 she ended up in hospital once again after a serious fall from a second-storey window. She still bore a scar behind her right shoulder – a little thing compared to the inner scars she carried round with her.

But the worst thing happened only a year ago. Her precious Haru… she could remember every contour of his face so vividly, as if he was standing right in front of her. She could see his snow-white hair shine in the sunlight; she could hear his voice whispering her nickname… _Rin… Rin... _an echo of his love. Sometimes the wind would brush against her arm and she would imagine it was his hand, come to guide her. It was so easy to think he was still there, because then she wouldn't have to remember that he would never come home.

After Haru graduated, she remembered, he moved out of his parents' house and bought a house at the very edge of the Sohma estate. She knew he would have liked to move much further away but that was as far as he dared live from Akito. Of course Rin couldn't move in with Haru, but she made her life there – spending as much time as she could with the man she'd given her heart to.

When the phone call came, a year ago, she couldn't cry for him because it just hurt too damn much. She'd thought that the problems of her life were over, that together they could build a beautiful future – but she had forgotten the most important thing. She was cursed, and nothing would ever change that. What was the point in looking to a better future, if just as you thought things were getting better God made your life worse than it had ever been before?

Of course no one can ever truly believe that the love of their life is gone for ever, and Rin would look out for him every day, waiting for him to come back. She didn't go to the funeral but she doubted Akito would have let her anyway. When the sweetness of spring was lost in the glaring heat of summer her health deteriorated rapidly, and she didn't really care until Hatori, half-grave, half-embarrassed, told her that she was two months pregnant. Haru's baby was born in January, and Rin finally had to conclude her cousin was gone when a hysterical nurse told her she'd given birth to a baby cow.

Now, clutching her three-month-old baby, Rin stared at the granite tombstone. He'd died a year ago but the pain was still heartbreakingly fresh. She wondered dully if it would ever hurt less. Something in her didn't want it to.

There were soft footsteps in the gravel behind her. Rin didn't need to turn round to know who it was – there was only one person she knew who walked so lightly. Her violet-eyed cousin halted next to her. Together they looked at the grave that lay at their feet. Someone had put flowers there already; something gaudy and bright that Rin knew Haru would have hated.

She said into the silence, 'Why, Yuki? Why did he have to leave me?'

Yuki said nothing; he just clasped her free hand in understanding. They both knew there was no answer to that question.

A little while later, Rin exclaimed, 'Oh! I forgot to bring him some flowers!'

Yuki said, 'Will this do?' He bent down and plucked from the ground a tiny flower with delicate blue-purple petals. Rin took it from him carefully, afraid she would break it.

'It's beautiful,' she breathed. 'What is it Yuki?'

'Forget-me-not,' he said.

/end of part 2/

AN: Okay, I know it doesn't have much relevance to part 1, but things will become apparent later (when I decide what's actually going on!) Also I'm ignoring the recent events in the manga that have affected Momiji, Hiro and Kureno. If you're up-to-date on the story you'll know what I mean! I don't want to give anything away. But I'll try to keep everything else canon if I can. Please review, criticism is always good!


	3. Yesterday's Angel

/yesterday's angel/

The sky above them was cloudless, a washed-away blue. If there had been sunlight earlier it was mostly gone now. The cemetery was empty, except for the three of them, but Yuki was glad of that because he didn't feel like making polite conversation.

Rin was walking half a pace ahead of him, her baby boy cradled in her arms. Yuki wondered if she'd chosen a name for him yet. At three months old a name was something most children had had for a long time, but as far as he knew, Rin's son was still without one.

They were almost at the car park when Rin said suddenly, 'Do you still think about _her_, Yuki?'

Yuki didn't need to ask to know who his cousin was referring to. He saw a fleeting image in his mind: long brown hair blowing in the wind, loosely fastened with a yellow ribbon which was the colour of buttercups. If he could only see her face again… In answer to Rin's question he said quietly, 'Sometimes.' The truth was, he thought about her a lot more.

Often he played out alternate realities in his mind, where Tohru, Kyo and himself all graduated and nothing went wrong; the neko wasn't locked away; they didn't wake up to find Tohru gone; he wasn't persuaded to go back to the Main House. They were all much happier than the reality he was living. He knew there must have been something that he could have done, to prevent everything from going wrong… but then again, maybe it was just fate snatching away his happiness just when he thought the bad times were over.

Even to this day Yuki still didn't know why Tohru left. Could it have been of her own free will? He doubted that; she'd been so happy living with the Sohmas, despite all the problems Yuki's family had bought her. And she would never have left Kyo to his cruel fate, of that he was sure. So what had happened, three years ago? Would he ever know?

/end of part 3/

AN: Nothing much happened really in this chapter… it was just Yuki reflecting on the past. :)

Please review! All comments/criticisms/suggestions welcome! There'll be another character joining the fun next chapter… but who will it be?


	4. Determination of the Young

/determination of the young/

Shigure was rarely visited at his house these days. If he ever needed to talk to someone, he went to see them. So naturally he was surprised when, around midday, there was a soft knock at the front door.

Outside, an orange-haired teenager shivered in the cool spring winds. Her school uniform indicated she came from an all-girls' private school the other side of town. Although outwardly she appeared to be calm, she felt a rising nervousness inside for what she'd come to do.

'Kisa-chan?' her cousin enquired as he opened the door. 'I don't see you round here very often.'

'I… yes, sorry.' Kisa's nervousness overtook her for a moment, and she stumbled over her words. 'That is, I'm doing a project on garden vegetables at school.'

'Wait, please come inside.' Shigure stepped back, allowing her to enter. From the doorway the house still looked the same as it had when she'd come here with Tohru. But the smell was different. Gone was the scent of flowers and fresh cookies that had once lingered in the hallway. It was gone, Kisa thought. It would never come back here now.

Shigure smiled down at her. 'So what does your school project have to do with me, Kisa-chan?'

'Nothing, really,' she answered. 'But I thought Yuki-san might have some books on it, so I rang him but he told me they were all here. I was wondering if I might be able to have a look for some?' Shigure's face showed no sign of whether he'd agree to let her or not. 'Yuki-san said that I might,' Kisa added hopefully.

'I suppose you can have a quick look,' Shigure sighed. 'Do you want me to help you?'

'No, it's okay thanks, he told me where to find them,' Kisa reassured him. 'I don't want to interrupt your work.'

'Very well, then. You do know where Yuki's old room is, don't you?'

'I do,' Kisa said.

Once Shigure had gone back into the room he called his office, the Tiger ascended the stairs, her feet padding softly on each step. At the top she paused briefly, and then sent a quick glance back down to check she was alone.

She was, and so she continued on to her grey-haired cousin's room. Inside, she could tell this was a room that had not been used in a long time. There was dust caked on the bookshelves and the windowsill. Kisa drew her finger down it, momentarily lost in memories, thinking of happier times. Then she remembered why she was here, and took a book off the shelf.

Doing her best to be as quiet as possible, she crept back along the hallway and into the room that had once belonged to a different sixteen-year-old girl. Like Yuki's this room was also covered in dust, a shrine to what had once been.

Time was short, and Kisa knew that if she stayed up here much longer Shigure would come up to find out what she was doing. But she wasn't sure where to start looking, or even what she was looking for. Tohru's diary, perhaps? Would it even still be here after three whole years? Kisa looked through the schoolbooks and notebooks on the desk, being careful to replace everything afterwards. Where would Tohru keep things that were most precious to her? Where would she, Kisa, keep them?

At the front of the desk stood a photo frame. Although the glass surface was covered in three years' worth of dust Kisa could still make out the picture of a young woman, smiling at the world. That was what Tohru had treasured most! Kisa picked it up and felt in the gap between the photo and the wooden frame. Sure enough, there was a small wad of paper.

'Kisa-chan?' Shigure called from downstairs. 'Are you sure you don't need a hand?'

Swearing inside (a particular phrase which she'd learned from Hiro), Kisa eased out the paper and shoved it inside the pages of the book she'd taken from Yuki's room. Quickly she made her way out of Tohru's room and closed the door behind her. At the top of the stairs she called, 'No, I've got everything I need now. Thanks!'

Kisa was about to go downstairs when an unexpected movement caught her eye. The door to the bathroom, which had been open when she'd come upstairs, had suddenly closed. Kisa shivered inside. It must have been the wind – there could be no one else here.

Could there?

She went back downstairs, trying to dispel the thought from her mind. In the kitchen Shigure was inspecting a dirty-looking kettle. 'I was going to offer you a cup of coffee,' he said, 'but I think it might kill you.'

'That's alright,' Kisa laughed, 'I don't like coffee much anyway.'

'Well, then.' Shigure sighed. 'Did you find anything useful?'

'Yes, I hope so,' she replied. _I really, really hope so._

'I'd better be going, then,' Kisa said awkwardly. She went into the hallway and opened the front door. A cold wind blew into her face.

'Yes – shouldn't you be at school at the moment?' her cousin asked from behind her.

'It's the lunch-break,' Kisa lied. 'Um… thanks for letting me get this book.'

'You're welcome.' Shigure waved to her. 'I'll hope to see you again soon, then!'

'Yes – bye.' The door closed and Kisa breathed a sigh of relief. She'd done what she came to do, and hadn't been discovered. Now if only she could work out what had happened, that time three years ago.

Kisa wandered back down the driveway, towards the main road. She hoped she could catch a bus that would get her back to school before she missed too many lessons.

Lost in her thoughts, Kisa forgot all about the bathroom door. And so she didn't think to look back at the house; and so she didn't notice the pale face watching her from an upstairs window.

/end of part 4/

AN: Thanks to everyone who's reviewed so far! This chapter is longer than the previous ones – I hope that satisfies you for now! Can't promise when I'll update next – but it should be in the next week, homework allowing. Keep reviewing! I wonder what'll happen next… ;)


	5. Candle Flames

AN: I've already written this out, but my disk managed to delete it somehow. Which is annoying because it was about 1500 words. Oh, and the row of stars etc means a change of scene.

/candle flames/

One… two… three…

She watched the wick of each candle flare up – a short burst of hope – and then settle down to burn steadily away.

Five… six… seven…

How old had they been when she first met him? She would have seen him at his first juunishi banquet of course, when she was two and he wasn't even a year old – but when did she first get to know him? When did she stop seeing him as just another member of the Zodiac?

Eight… nine…

'Look, baby,' Rin whispered. 'Look at the pretty lights.'

It was dark already when Yuki drove through the gates to the Inner Sohma estate. Another day had gone by… another meaningless day.

After he left Rin and her son at the cemetery car park that morning, he'd spent the rest of the day in town, buying groceries and stationery. Yuki always catered for himself now. Akito liked Yuki to eat meals with him, but the Head of the family was often too busy or too sick, and so Yuki managed to escape, mostly.

Shortly after he'd graduated, someone had arranged for Yuki to have a job in one of the smaller Sohma businesses. He'd been offered the position with the strong hint that refusing it wasn't an option. Now Yuki spent most of his time managing accounts for products he didn't even care about. It kept him within Akito's reach, which he suspected was why he'd been given the job.

He parked the car and collected his shopping from the back seat. Despite it being April the night was cold and he shivered. He didn't need keys to get into the building – it was a large structure with many different apartments. Yuki had a suite of three rooms that he'd moved into shortly after he graduated, the same time he'd been given a job. It consisted of a bedroom, a bathroom and a third room which he used for everything else. Akito's apartments were in this building.

He had almost reached his rooms when he heard footsteps echoing behind him.

'Yuki-san!'

He turned round; it was a maid, out of breath and relieved to see him. 'You're back late,' she observed.

'Yes,' Yuki said. 'I lost track of time.'

'Oh dear… Yuki-san,' she fluently switched to another topic, 'there is a visitor to see you.'

The surprise showed clearly in Yuki's face. 'Who is it?' No one ever visited him here, except Akito and Yuki was sure the maid would not refer to him as a 'visitor'.

'Your cousin,' the maid said.

'I see,' Yuki answered. 'Thank you.' That told him nothing – he had so many cousins, there were several he'd never even met.

The young woman bobbed a curtsey and went on her way in the opposite direction. Yuki watched her go, her dark hair shining slightly in the dimly-lit corridor. If he closed his eyes a certain way, he could almost pretend she was Tohru.

The rat sighed. Thinking like that would not help him one bit. He walked the rest of the way to his suite with his head filled with the past.

The door was ajar; bright light spilled out of it. Yuki sighed and pushed it open.

Sitting at his desk, with her head on a stack of papers Yuki had forgotten to file away, was a ginger-haired teenager. She sat up suddenly when she heard Yuki close the door behind him, and he could see the tiredness in her face.

'Kisa!' Yuki cried in concern, putting down his bags and crossing the room. 'What's the matter? Why have you come here – so late?'

Kisa rubbed her chocolate-brown eyes with the back of her hand in an uncannily cat-like manner. 'Nothing's wrong – nothing new, anyway.'

The rat frowned. 'What are you talking about?'

Hesitation flitted across Kisa's face. She looked beseechingly at Yuki and he saw that under the confident exterior was the insecure child that could be so easily broken. He sighed and sat down in a vacant chair opposite his desk.

'Look,' he said, sincerity in his voice, 'you don't have to tell me anything you don't want to. But – you've obviously come here for some reason – I don't know what it is – but whatever you tell me, I will keep it a secret until you say I don't have to any more.' He smiled. 'Unless you've killed Hiro?'

Kisa smiled back. 'Not yet.' Her face turned serious again, and she said quietly, 'Yuki, I went to… to your old house today.'

Ten candles… eleven…

Rin said, 'I loved you so much, Haru. I still do. I won't ever stop.'

Twelve… thirteen… fourteen…

'Why did you have to leave me? We were finally happy! I thought… I thought we were going to be okay!'

Fifteen…

The baby was crying. She was crying too, a lake of tears that drowned her heart and suffocated her. 'Why, damn you?'

She was tired of all the worry, tired of all the wondering who to trust. Hiro wouldn't listen to her any more, and she couldn't tell her parents. Momiji was out of town on a business trip. She _had_ to trust Yuki, or it would be bottled up inside her.

'Yuki,' Kisa said quietly, 'I went to… to your old house today.'

The shock in Yuki's face was apparent. 'You went to Shigure's?'

'Yes,' Kisa said defiantly. 'At school today… I remembered something. So-'

'What?' Yuki interrupted her, anxiety edging his voice. Kisa moved back slightly out of instinct and Yuki sighed. 'Sorry – I won't stop you any more. Please carry on.'

She'd started to let it out. She couldn't stop now. 'At school this morning, a girl lost her homework diary. She seemed really upset about it – and someone else asked her why, because it was just a homework diary! Well, she said that there was a photo of her boyfriend inside it. She said that it was the only one that she had, and it was very precious to her.

'That… that made me remember something. When I was younger, once Onee-chan asked me what was most precious to me.' Kisa smiled wistfully at the memory. 'I told her it was my new Mogeta plushie. Then I asked her the same.

'Onee-chan told me… that her mother was the most precious thing to her. She also said,' Kisa continued, 'that if there was ever anything that was so secret that she couldn't tell it to anyone else – she could always give it to her mom.'

Yuki was frowning. 'Yes, I didn't understand her then either, and afterwards I forgot all about it,' Kisa said. 'But today… I started thinking, about what she might have meant. And then I thought – maybe telling your secrets to a photograph wouldn't be enough. Maybe Onee-chan wrote them down, and then "gave" them to her mom – to her mom's photo.'

'Kisa,' Yuki began gently.

'Yes, I know it was just a wild guess!' Kisa cried. 'But I thought I might just be right. So I skipped the rest of school and went to find out. And Yuki – ' her voice faltered – 'oh Yuki, I was right!'

The rat's face was drained of blood. 'What did you find?' he asked her hoarsely. 'What did she write?'

Kisa said, 'I don't think I found everything – I'm sure she had other places too. But I did find these.' She passed her cousin a small folded-up piece of paper. 'It's when she found out about our curse.'

Yuki accepted it in silence.

'This one,' Kisa said, 'is much shorter.'

The rat took the second piece of paper. Written on it in Tohru's careful script was just one sentence:

_I love Kyo._

'Well I guess Akito worked that out in the end as well,' Yuki said bitterly.

'Yes – but it's the last one that's most important,' the tiger told him. 'I don't understand it – what do you think?'

She passed Yuki the final piece of paper and watched his eyes widen as he read what was on it.

Rin was sitting in a circle of candles. Carefully she lit the last one. She was surprised to notice that her hands were shaking.

She was surrounded by fire. It was so incredibly beautiful. Rin laughed, and the baby was crying.

'Oh Haru,' Rin whispered, 'Can you see me here? Can you?'

She lay down on the carpet, letting the match fall to the ground. There were nineteen candles – one for each year of Haru's life – one for the year since his death.

Rin could smell her hair burning. She felt amazingly free; free to fly away at last.

'I'm coming, Haru,' she breathed. 'Wait for me. I'm coming to see you. No one can stop us now.'

Rin closed her eyes.

/end of part 5/

AN: Okay, this was a bit longer than before!

A note on honorifics: I wasn't sure what Kisa and Yuki would call each other, so I just had them call each other by their first names. If this is drastically wrong then I apologize! I know about as much Japanese as I do Swahili – i.e. not a lot

Having written this all out for the second time I'm hoping I wont have to do it again! Please keep reviewing!


	6. Lost Memories

AN: One little spoiler ahead concerning the relationship between Machi and Kakeru.

/lost memories/

Yuki held the note in shaking hands. Could it be that finally, after all this time, Kisa had done what no one else could do and found the answers? Maybe there _was _a happy ending after all. Could he afford to hope?

Kisa said earnestly, 'I've read it over and over again, and I still can't make any sense of it.'

Yuki read those precious words again.

_Mom_

_I'm running out of time_

_and I want to say goodbye but you're the only person I can say it to._

_I know that this is the only choice I have left, and I'm happy to do it if I can save Kyo-kun, but I can't stop feeling so scared._

_At least I'll keep my promise to you._

_Please help me to be strong._

It wasn't signed or dated.

Yuki said quietly, '"I'm running out of time"… did she know what was going to happen, do you think?'

'She must have done, if she wrote this.' Kisa frowned. 'Or it might be about something completely different.'

'No, it can't be.' The rat scanned the note through again. What secrets were hidden in those words? 'It can't be, because she talks about saving that damn cat, and that has to mean what happened to him after graduation.'

Kisa murmured, 'If it does, then whatever Onee-chan did didn't work.' She saw Yuki's questioning glance. 'Well Kyo-san was still locked away, wasn't he? So Onee-chan's idea didn't work.'

Yuki said, 'Yes. Maybe it was about something different then. Although she does mention keeping a promise – a promise to her mother. To graduate from high school?'

'I guess so,' the tiger replied. She sighed. 'Oh, I just don't know.'

They sat there in silence, both feeling a little depressed after the false hope they'd had before. Kisa thought of the smiling face that had made her feel loved when she thought she was all alone. Yuki remembered a yellow ribbon and a sweet voice calling his name. How could they have been so naïve as to think that the happiness would last forever?

Kisa said finally, 'Can't you think of anything else she might have meant?'

Yuki sighed. 'Maybe I'll think of something in the morning.' He saw the sadness in his cousin's eyes. 'I'm sorry, Kisa. I'm sorry I can't do better, for Tohru and for you.'

'It doesn't matter,' the tiger said in a small voice. 'I couldn't either.' She looked like she was on the verge of tears.

Yuki said softly, 'Is everything else okay? School, and everything?'

She looked up, surprised. 'Yes – it's fine.'

'How's Hiro?' Yuki asked. 'I haven't seen him in a while. Not since New Year's, in fact.'

Kisa's face flushed slightly. 'I… I'm not sure. At least, I think he's okay. I just haven't seen much of him lately.'

'What!' Yuki gasped. It was common knowledge amongst the juunishi that Kisa and Hiro were inseparable. If they were drifting apart… 'Have you had an argument, or something?'

'Not really,' Kisa muttered. 'It's just – well, he doesn't really have time for me any more.' She saw from Yuki's stern look that he wasn't going to let this go. In a very small voice, she added – 'He has a girlfriend.'

Yuki's eyes widened. 'I see.'

'Yes,' Kisa said defiantly. 'So he's too… _busy… _to waste his time on me now.'

Yuki said consolingly, 'I'm sure it's just a fling. Don't let it worry you.'

'Who said I was worried!' Kisa cried, rising from her chair. 'I don't care _how _many girls he tongues!' If she knew about the tears that were leaking from her eyes, she didn't say anything.

Yuki felt a bit embarrassed. 'Well…' he said, 'if you ever need to talk…'

'Thank you,' she sniffed, looking away.

Yuki asked, 'How are you getting back? Do you want me to drive you?'

Kisa nodded her red-gold head. 'If… you wouldn't mind… that would be good.'

'It's okay,' Yuki said. 'It's the least I can do, after what you've done today.' He indicated the piece of paper still lying on his desk. 'I'll have a look at this again when I get back, and if I think of anything I'll let you know.'

Yuki dropped Kisa off at the road leading to her house. As he turned the car round to drive away he saw her reflection in the wing mirror; a tiny shadow swallowed by the night. The rat shook his head and turned back onto the main road.

What were their lives coming to, his and the other juunishi? There were so few people left now, so few he could talk to and know that they cared. Momiji was constantly away – like Yuki he'd been provided with a convenient profession – although Momiji's job took him away from the Sohma house, rather than kept him there. It wasn't a secret that Momiji was not one of Akito's favourites. Yuki was happy for his cousin, that the energetic young man could escape Akito's clutches rather than be tormented in them, but he missed the rabbit's company.

Hatsuharu, of course, was not around anymore. It had been a terrible shock, one year ago, when Hatori had told him. Somehow Yuki and Haru had always understood each other without always needing to put their thoughts into words. After his first encounter with the ox those many years ago, anyway. Yuki smiled at the memory – the small boy with startlingly white hair contrasted with ebony black, almost spitting with anger. Somehow Yuki hadn't imagined a world where he couldn't talk to the younger boy when he needed to.

His friends from high school had long since disappeared. It was difficult to maintain contact with someone when you were kept as busy as Yuki's job kept him. As he drove past the bright green traffic lights, Yuki wondered what they were all doing now. He was sure Kakeru Manabe had a very successful job somewhere where he managed to annoy the hell out of anyone who strayed into his path. Arisa Uotani was probably doing well too. Yuki had always thought she had enough determination to do anything she set her mind to. Likewise with Saki Hanajima, another one of Tohru's – and Yuki's high school friends.

And then of course there was Machi Kuragi, Kakeru's half sister. How long was it since Yuki had seen her? A sudden recollection flashed into his mind and he smiled – it was two weeks. Yuki had gone out one early afternoon about a fortnight ago; having finished all his work for the day he'd taken advantage of the extra time and gone to a local park where he just wandered round, enjoying for once the freedom of being able to just let the time go by. And then he'd seen her, across the lake, her brown hair drifting free in the spring breeze. The sight of someone from his old life had taken his breath away, and he would have gone to her were it not for the young man who possessively held her left arm.

Yes, they would all be moving on… all of them… leaving the memory of Prince Yuki and the boy Uo used to call Kyon-Kyon in the past.

_But what about Tohru? _Yuki thought. _Has she been forgotten by them, like she has by Akito? Has she vanished from their lives as cleanly as she did from ours? Or do they still see her, does she know them just as well now as she did before? _Like a malevolent whisper, a line from Tohru's note floated into his mind:

_I want to say goodbye._

No, Tohru was not living a happy life in a far away city. Because a terrible injustice had been done to her, three years ago, and now Yuki might just be able to find out what it was.

He just had to hope he wasn't too late to set things right.

/end of part 6/

AN: No Rin in this chapter. After the cliffhanger I left you with last time, I'm sure you all wanted to know what happened! But I'm feeling mean. You'll find out in chapter seven though, I promise! (which is called, _my own destruction. _See, I'm planning ahead for once!) Please review!


	7. My Own Destruction

/my own destruction/

Rin was woken by an incessant high-pitched beeping. _God, what IS that noise? I just want to go back to sleep._

'She's waking.'

An icily cold voice cut through her head. Wearily Rin half-opened her eyes. She was surrounded by white: white walls, white sheets on her bed, a white ceiling above her. Even the people here were wearing white.

_I remember this place._

'Isuzu?' This person's voice was gentle and caressing; a female voice, Rin decided. A motherly voice.

'Am I in hospital again?' she asked, already knowing what the answer would be.

'Yes, honey, you are. But there's no need to worry, everything's going to be okay.' A nurse smiled down at her and Rin almost smiled back. 'You're lucky that some neighbours saw the fire and raised the alarm, otherwise your condition might be much worse.'

'Fire?' Rin asked, confused. Her head was so heavy – she just wanted to fall back into that blissful oblivion, and not be woken up by any more incomprehensible talk.

'Take it steady,' a third voice advised. Rin knew this voice, but her eyes were closed now and she couldn't see anymore. It was the voice she loved best. 'Haru!' she whispered, and as she felt a dull sensation enter her arm, she sank back into the darkness.

Hatori straightened up, holding the now empty syringe. 'She should sleep for a couple more hours,' he informed the nurse. 'When she wakes again, don't shower her with information. You can answer her questions, but –' he paused for a moment, and his eyes connected with the clear grey gaze of the third person standing by Rin's bed – 'don't tell her anything she doesn't need to know.' The doctor placed the syringe back inside his case; which was lying open on a table next to the patient's bed; and snapped the case shut. He strode to the door and held it open.

'Akito-san?' he offered.

The figure clad in black walked serenely out of the room. Hatori followed his god, leaving the nurse alone with the sedated girl.

_Mom_

_I'm running out of time_

Out of time – that _had_ to mean that she knew what would happen to her. Didn't it?

_and I want to say goodbye but you're they only person I can say it to._

Because everyone else would try to prevent her from doing what she was about to do?

_Please help me to be strong._

'Be strong, Tohru,' Yuki whispered. 'Be strong.'

'So they're saying that it was deliberate? That she deliberately tried to kill herself – and her child?' Shigure asked.

'That's what it looks like,' Hatori sighed. The shadows beneath his eyes were heavy, and he looked emotionally drained. Yet Shigure knew the juunishi dragon would keep on spending his strength however tired he might feel.

'You should get some rest, Haa-san. You're looking peaky.'

Hatori glared at him. 'I'll rest when the life of Rin's child is no longer in danger.'

They were standing outside the ward reserved for infants in intensive care at the local hospital. The sunlight that shone through the glass window was sadistically bright. Shigure said softly, 'Is it still uncertain then? If her child will live?'

'He will live.' Hatori's face was dark. 'But it is likely that he will have serious breathing problems later in life.' He sighed and turned his head to the window. 'Shigure, Akito says he will not let the boy go back to his mother.'

Shigure said, 'Rin won't be happy about that.'

'Losing the last thing she holds dear? She'll be utterly broken.' Hatori looked at Shigure. His eyes burned with compassion for the frail horse of the juunishi. 'Did you know, Shigure… she called me Haru. Just as I was sedating her. I was speaking to her and she said… Haru.'

'Did she really?' Shigure raised an eyebrow. 'Maybe losing Haa-kun pushed her over the edge. It was a shock to us all.'

The doctor narrowed his eyes. Something about Shigure's attitude wasn't quite right. He was used to the flippant way in which Shigure would talk about serious matters, but these days the dog seemed different. The tone of his voice when he spoke about Haru… it was the same as if he were discussing the weather, almost devoid of any true feeling.

'Have you completely given up all your morals?' Hatori murmured, more to himself than to his friend.

'Me? Shigure's lips curved in a sardonic grin, a brief insight into who he really was. 'I never had any to start with, Hatori-san. I thought you knew that?'

'Yes,' Hatori said quietly. 'Perhaps I did.'

Later the dragon went to check on his feisty-spirited patient again. Rin was sitting propped up against the pillows, her beautiful face pale. She noticed Hatori's face at the glass panel in the door and smiled weakly.

'Hello, Isuzu,' he said, entering the room and closing the door carefully behind him. 'How're you feeling?'

'I've been better,' she said. Her voice held a hint of bitterness. 'Is what they're telling me true? Are they really going to take away my baby?'

'Yes,' Hatori said simply. He was watching Rin's face, and he noticed that when he answered her question, the tiny bit of light that had still been in her eyes went out. She looked away from him, at the white wall, its surface about as blank as they both felt inside. Hatori saw a delicate tear separate itself from her eyelashes. He wondered where the Rin he used to know had gone – that girl would not have given up her child so easily.

'Rin,' he told the girl, 'I don't know what's going to happen to your child, but I'll do everything I can to prevent him from getting hurt. I won't let Akito harm him, I promise.'

'Thank you,' Rin said quietly. Her voice was lifeless.

Hatori felt an overwhelming sense of defeat inside himself. When even one of the most argumentative of the juunishi was giving in without a fight, things were definitely changing. When had their spirit left them? Hatori had never been one to argue with Akito, but he could see now that all the others were no longer willing to put up a fight – they would rather just sit back and watch all they had ever cared about be taken away from them.

'When did you lose your hope, Rin?' he asked her.

'Hope?' She laughed then, a short, bitter laugh that stopped as suddenly as it had began. 'Since when do the juunishi have any hope?'

Hatori said nothing. He knew there had been a time when they had _all _had hope, even himself. Hope in the form of Tohru Honda…

The girl in front of him hiccupped suddenly and he noticed that the single tear had turned into a flood. Still she was silent; the only sound coming from her was her irregular breathing, short and harsh. Her shoulders were shaking uncontrollably. Awkwardly, Hatori shuffled closer and put his arm round her.

'I've brought it all on myself, really,' his cousin sobbed, leaning on the dragon for the support that she desperately craved. 'I've been my own destruction, haven't I… it's all my fault.'

_All my fault…_

'No!' Hatori said vehemently. 'You mustn't say that!' Whether it had been those unexpected words that echoed Kana's voice in his memory, or the pitiful sight of someone who he'd never expected to see give in finally giving up he felt a sudden resolution – he _must _try and restore Rin's hope – his own hope – the hope of all the juunishi. 'You can't give up. You have to believe that things will get better.'

The horse was staring at him in surprise. Her face was still tear-stained, her eyes still brimming with liquid, but was there the tiniest amount of hope there?

'But how?' she whispered. 'How can we… when there is nothing left to believe in?'

'There's always something left,' Hatori said. 'And we'll find it.'

/end of part 7/

AN: Hope you enjoyed this chapter! Please review!


	8. A Yellow Ribbon

/a yellow ribbon/

Yuki couldn't concentrate on his work. The numbers on the spreadsheet had been dancing in front of his eyes till he just couldn't take it any more. Now he had left his 'office', as he called the largest room in his apartment, and he was wandering round the Sohma gardens.

Everything was pristine here – all the gardens were well-tended, with bright flowers of every colour arranged in the many flowerbeds. Yuki remembered his own little garden that he'd kept secret behind Shigure's house – he wondered if it was all overgrown now, the place that he'd given so much love to utterly forgotten.

Although it was mid-afternoon the weather was cold and bleak, and Yuki had forgotten his coat. He stuffed his hands into his pockets, willing the warmth back into them. It might seem unpleasant, this weather, but at least out here the air was fresh. He also didn't have to see any of those dreadful spreadsheets.

Yuki turned a corner and stopped still – he had been walking without really noticing where he was going, but he certainly hadn't intended to end up at the small, austere looking building in front of him. It had been a very long time since he'd last been here – more than ten years. It looked smaller, somehow, than before… but maybe that was just because he was bigger now.

More out of curiosity than anything else he slowly walked towards the cat room. The ground closest to it was bare, as if no plants could bear to grow there. Yuki thought he could feel waves of sadness emanating from that place… an overwhelming feeling of self-hatred and despair. He placed one hand on the stone wall and just stood there, thinking that whatever went wrong in his own life, that stupid cat had been far more unlucky.

Yuki opened his mouth to speak – to whisper some words of comfort to the boy he'd always despised – but a voice rang out from behind him.

'Yuki! Get away from there! Get away!'

The rat spun round, an icy coldness clutching his stomach. It was the voice he feared above all others – and there in front of the rat, an expression of the deepest fury on his face, stood Akito.

The god strode towards the terrified rat, his dark red kimono billowing around him. Cold grey eyes emitted the most passionate anger Yuki had ever seen. The violet-eyed boy felt a panic inside that only Akito could cause. His instinct was to flee… to run as far away as he possibly could… but he could not escape from the wrath of his god.

Akito struck Yuki's cheek with the back of his hand. 'I told you to go!'

Wordlessly Yuki fled the clearing, his face smarting from the blow.

It had been Hatori's task to deliver Rin's son to his foster-parents. As with all commands that Akito gave him the doctor carried it out without complaint, silently adding it to the long list of things on his conscience.

However now something inside him believed that this might not last… this seemingly endless cycle of sadness that was part of a juunishi… he knew now that it was worthless to dwell on self-pity, worthless to wait and hope that things might get better – if he wanted happiness he had to seize it himself, and not let it go. Just as he should have done with Kana, all those years ago.

Maybe it was finally time for him to stop following the orders of his sadistic god and to start acting on his conscience.

Yuki lay on his bed, fear still gnawing at a distant corner of his stomach. He knew Akito would not let this rest – what the god so clearly regarded as a gross invasion of privacy. Hated memories battered at his mind, and his imagination twisted them into fears of what Akito might do this time.

But it wouldn't – it _couldn't _– last… he knew better than to believe Akito's poison anyway… the worst that could happen to him would be physical pain… he could get over this.

Out of the corner of his eye the rat noticed a scrap of white paper, lying on a pile of books on the floor. Tohru's note! Yuki hadn't looked at it so far today – was he giving up already? Desperation rose inside him, and he rocked back and forth on the bed, trying in vain to control his feelings. He _had _to keep believing – for Tohru's sake – he had to right whatever wrongs she had been dealt.

A harsh rap on the outer door announced the moment he had been dreading. Shakily the rat manoeuvred himself off the bed and out into the larger room, towards the door.

'Yuki-san?' One of the older maids stood there, her white hair scraped back into a bun. 'The master wishes to see you in his apartments. At once, please.' Her tone indicated that refusing was not an option.

Yuki granted her a weak smile and followed her out into the corridor, locking the door behind him.

Akito's part of the building was far larger than Yuki's three rooms. As the maid led the rat through the outer rooms he noticed the familiar dark furnishings and the lack of beauty. Akito seemed to be sustained by the dark… it was all around him, and inside him; it was what made him. _Perhaps there's dark in me too, _Yuki thought. _Perhaps that's why I can't do anything right._

The elderly woman had stopped by a closed door. She held out a hand, indicating that Yuki should go in. Hesitantly he opened the door.

No sooner had he entered then it was shut behind him, leaving Yuki alone in the room. It was furnished in much the same way as the rest of Akito's domain, the few items of furniture plain and dark-coloured. Despite the unwelcome situation he was in Yuki couldn't help but wonder why Akito did not want more extravagance here – he was the god, after all, and if he were to ask for it he would get it.

'Yuki.'

The voice came from behind him, quiet, emotionless, like a statement. The rat wheeled round and saw Akito emerge from a connecting room, sliding the door closed. The god walked slowly over towards the first of his juunishi, the only sound in the room his bare feet on the wooden floorboards. Lovingly he held his right hand up to Yuki's face, caressing it, gazing into those deep purple eyes.

Yuki looked at the young man before him in amazement. This person was acting completely different from the Akito who'd confronted him before. But inside he was still wary – he had far too much experience of Akito's mood swings, of the way he would manipulate his juunishi. Akito's face was closer now, much closer to his own, and Yuki laboured hard not to flinch away. It was strange, he was nearly a head taller than the frail god and still he felt awed by Akito's presence.

The god looked at Yuki sorrowfully for a moment, before releasing him. The younger man let out a relieved breath that he did not realise he had been holding – and he regretted it as soon as it left his lips, for Akito had heard it and there was an unreadable expression in his face.

'Are you really so very scared of me, Yuki?'

The rat looked at him in surprise, struggling to form an answer in his mind. 'No,' he said finally, 'I'm not scared.'

'Good.' The god began to circle the room, looking out of the wide glass window. 'Why did you go to that place today?'

'I…' The sudden change of subject took Yuki by surprise and so he stumbled over his answer. 'I didn't mean to.'

'It's hardly the kind of place you can stumble on by accident,' the god said, amused. He picked a small object up from a table Yuki hadn't noticed before, hidden in the shadows of the room.

'It really was by accident,' Yuki said sincerely. 'I was thinking… so I didn't notice where I was going.'

'Liar.' Akito was wrapping the object around his hand, and then unwrapping it again. 'Did Shigure say something about it? Tell me!' he cried, when Yuki did not respond.

'No – nothing!' Yuki backed away till his back touched the cold stone wall. 'It was an accident that I –' His words were cut off when Akito slapped him with his free hand. 'No, really!' Yuki cried, and to his shame hot tears were stinging at his eyes. 'I didn't mean to! I didn't!'

'You're pathetic,' Akito said coldly. 'Cringing like a child – you're an adult, Yuki. Have a bit more self-respect.' He lifted the hand he had just struck the younger man with and gently wiped Yuki's tears away. 'Look,' he said suddenly, resting the object he was holding against his ebony hair. 'Does it suit me?'

Yuki let out a gasp. Clasped in Akito's pale hand was the yellow ribbon he'd given to Tohru as a return present, nearly four years ago. 'Where did you get that?'

Akito's feminine mouth was twisted in an amused grin – he was enjoying this. 'It's mine. Do you like it?' He didn't give the rat a chance to answer as in one fluid motion he let the ribbon fall to the ground and stepped forward, capturing Yuki's mouth in his own.

/end of part 8/

AN: Sorry if some characters got a little out-of-character, I do try my best to keep them in character. If you think I went very badly off-character can you let me know in a review? It'll help me write better in the future. :)

This chapter was told mainly in Yuki's POV, which is why Yuki refers to Akito as – well, never mind. You all probably know already. evil grin If not, it'll be in the next chapter. As I said before, I am trying to keep this canon, so if you don't want to know the infamous ch97 spoiler, don't read on. However, if (most likely!) you already do, feel free to read on (when I write more, that is!) And please review:D


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